What to Do if your Friend joins a bat sh*t insane Cult

By

8th Mar, 2012

This has happened to me [the picture above is a slight, perhaps huge exaggeration but whatever]. My friend joined a certain bat sh*t crazy ‘organization’ [I won't name it here because there are a lot of people who don't consider it a cult] and we no longer happen to be friends today.

But let’s not necessarily call these things ‘cults‘. I’m talking about faith groups that recruit members via marketing emails (I received quite a few), individuals that claim they are basically the messiah via Facebook and other social networks, organizations that attract celebrities to gain a following…

I spoke to an old friend today that told me their own friend seemed to be getting sucked in to a new belief system.

“It’s really annoying when someone you know so well suddenly believes so strongly about something so ridiculous and you know its just bollocks but they’re trying to sway you into thinking the same. Someone will tell [him/her] something one day and the next day they’re preaching it. People think they’re cool for being ‘different’ when they’re just conforming”.

The problem is, I couldn’t advise my friend on this problem obviously, because after ignoring the issue for as long as I could, my other friendship did eventually sour. A new belief and lifestyle choice can drive wedges between friendships, highlighting your character differences and chipping away at mutual levels of respect on both sides.

If the issue does begin to effect a relationship, the only thing you can really hope for is that it’s a phase. If not, I googled “what to do” in this situation and this is what I found in a comments forum. Some useful and not so useful ideas…

  • Make use of their membership discount in the cult shop?
  • Start a cult of your own and convince him/her to join.
  • I would slowly start to ignore him so he/she doesn’t kill me.
  • Cults train their members to ignore the kind of gentle criticism that would normally be appropriate in this situation. You’ll probably need to stage an intervention with the help of other people your friend is closest to, assuming they also see this behavior as dangerous and irrational.
  • Depending on what he joins, I’d join with him. No one likes to be a loner.
  • Why am I worried? It’s my cult he joined.
  • I’d probably berate the sh*t out of him. Honestly, he would become the butt end of all my jokes.
  • Convince him/her to leave a lot of their stuff to me and allow me to organise their funeral, CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR ALL! Unless it was a cult surrounding Rasputin.
  • Seriously ALL religions are cults, succesful cults but still cults nonetheless.
  • Probably reconsider my life, I mean if my best friend would join a cult, I must not be doing so well myself.
  • Take him to a warehouse, tie him up, force his eyelids open and reprogram him with hours and hours of games and movies he likes.
  • Join in as well, I go everywhere with my friends.
  • Try to talk some sense into him, if that doesn’t work more drastic measures are in order. I don’t abandon my friends.
  • Ask him for one of those robes. Always wanted one.
  • Most of the world is already in a crazy cult as it is so I’ll just ignore it.
  • Jazz hands. They solve everything.
  • Most of my friends celebrate Christmas anyway.
  • Find our why they joined it in the first place. Cults can appeal to lonely or misdirected people, so try and work out why they felt the need to join the cult.
  • Me and my best friend are awaiting the zombie apocalypse. We continiously train, buy firearms, ammo, the essentials, etc. We hope that it will happen before were thirty. Otherwise it dosent get much worse than that.
  • Gently remind him that he still owes me his dues for the month… oh and that I’m going to be needing his house for the next cult meeting… and he’s okay with me using his daughter as a virgin sacrifice right??? Great, okay next on the agenda who’s bringing cookies next week?
  • Give him an apple or something.
  • Cults have the best orgies, let him have a good time
  • I keep telling him that Lady Gaga doesn’t produce good music and I express my wishes for her to drop off a cliff and stop filling my world with her horrible music. Lady Gaga fandom counts as a batsh*t crazy cult, right?

via Escapist

Sorry if that wasn’t very useful, but one must make light of every situation, must they not?

P.S. If you want to scare the crap out of yourself, go see this.

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