Pippa Middleton & her Harem of Gun-toting French Aristocrats

By

16th Apr, 2012

‘Pippa smiles!’, ‘Pippa Jogs!’, ‘Pippa bikes!’, ‘Pippa Farts!’ (and other stories)

IT’S NEWS TIME PEOPLE!

In the latest misadventures of Miss Middleton, Pippa was spotted ‘galavanting’ around Paris this weekend with what can only be described as a harem of French aristocrats at her beck and call.

In what looks like a propaganda dream for French socialist parties to “Tax the Rich!!”, here are some photos of Pippa and her friends that you probably didn’t ask for…

And here is Pippa’s ‘gun-gate’ moment when one of the French aristocrats pulled out his toy gun and aimed it at the pursuing paparazzi– which has sparked outrage and may land Pippa into trouble with French authorities. Ooh la la!

But couldn’t the paparazzi clearly see the gunman didn’t want any attention while parading with his car top down and Pippa-’nice ass‘-Middleton sitting in the front seat? Jeez!

Okay, for the record, not all French men wear suede leather jackets and ride around in convertible cars together with rubber toy guns.

I happen to have a very nice franco-boyfriend who enjoys the simple pleasures in life such as fishing and crappy chinese restaurants.

Anyhoo, one report wants to tell you how Pippa’s Gungate Moment Could Be a Disaster for the Entire Royal Family

[The Daily Beast]

:::

Simon Cowell is a big ol’ Man slut, says new unauthorized biography.

Simon Cowell with his own harem

Hopefully you are sitting down, because this is some mind-blowing sh*t. In a newly released ‘unauthorized’ biography, details reveal Simon Cowell gets all the chicks, including those sexy celebrity judges he personally selects to flirt with him on television, while paying them a couple million. Unbelievable!

While the names of his past conquests get dragged through the mud, you can practically smell the grin on his face as Cowell responds to the story via his Twitter, ‘Just seen the TV ad for the unauthorised book on me. Yikes!’

Unauthorized my ass.

And I can’t believe I’m about to link to [The Daily Mail].

:::

To commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Titanic tragedy, the media would like to show you these creepy photos of what could be human remains at the bottom of the sea

To coincide with the disaster’s centenary, this 2004 photograph a coat and boots in the mud at the legendary shipwreck site, has been released to the public for the first time.

“These are not shoes that fell out neatly from somebody’s bag right next to each other,” James Delgado, the director of maritime heritage at the National Oceanic and Atmosphere Administration, told The Associated Press in a phone interview.

The way they are “laid out” makes a “compelling case” that it is where “someone has come to rest,” he said.

Full story at [The Huffington Post]

:::

U.S. Secret Servicemen get caught with their prostitutes/ pants down; Demonstrate how Not to kick-off a weekend of International Diplomacy.

Kinda like that time when you went on a school field trip and your class acted like  hooligans the entire time and totally embarrassed your teachers, President Obama had to make this public statement while standing next to the Columbian President at the Summit of Americas following allegations that 11 secret service agents brought prostitutes back to their hotel rooms. Cringe!

“I expect that investigation to be thorough, and I expect it to be rigorous,” Obama said. “If it turns out that some of the allegations that have been made in the press are confirmed, then of course I’ll be angry. … We are representing the people of the United States, and when we travel to another country, I expect us to observe the highest standards.”

The Washington Post is calling it ‘the biggest secret service scandal in history’.

via [Huffington Post]

:::

Norway Mass-Murderer, Anders Breivik’s Trial begs the question: Why won’t this guy just die a slow, painful death?

His trial has been both long-awaited and dreaded by the people of Norway. Anders Behring Breivik Dressed smiled as a guard removed his handcuffs in the full court room and gave a creepy salutes, not unlike Hitler’s, before obnoxiously shaking hands with his prosecutors and court officials.

In what could have been construed as remorse for his actions, Anders was pictured crying in at one point during the day. It turns out he was shedding tears during the screening of a video about the evils of “multiculturalism” and “Islamic demographic warfare”.   He said to his lawyers, “It was an emotional video”.

The court was also privvy to Breivik’s claim that he was a member of a secretive “resistance” movement known as the “Knights Templar.”

Insisting he acted in self-defence, Breivik told the court, “I admit to the acts, but not criminal guilt.”

Are people really entertaining this guy?

The trial hopes to resolve the mental state of the defendent which will decide whether he is sent to prison or to psychiatric care. Breivik himself is keen to prove he is in fact not insane and plans to call in right-wing extremists and radical Islamists to testify.

 [BBC News]

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A study reveals Men are more Reckless drivers while women are more uncoordinated drivers (and generally more air headed?)

I ran into a reader last week who said my blog was wildly feminist even if I didn’t know it. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to prove him wrong with this wildly anti-feminist news blurb.

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration in Washington found that 60% of crashes were involving male drivers.

But far more embarrassingly for women, the study also found that female drivers were responsible for almost two-thirds of accidents that involved hitting the gas instead of the brake and the most frequent place they occurred was in parking lots.

Really ladies?!

Full study at [Associated Press] via Shift

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