In case you haven’t heard, a male member of Match.com recently woke up to his worst nightmare when an Excel spreadsheet he had made to ‘monitor’ the girls he was dating– went viral.
I know, terrible thing to happen. Except, the thing is, genius actually sent the spreadsheet himself! To one of the girls he was dating!! To the one he liked the most!!!
The girl then promptly forwarded his computerized ‘black book’ if you will, to
all her little friends. And eventually, the story landed on the news desk of online media giant, Gawker.
[Click to enlarge]
Before we start making our list of conclusions, let’s take a closer look at the details:
The finance worker, who, not surprisingly has now deleted his Match.com account, was dating 12 women in total– four blind dates he met through his co-workers/ parents or family friends and eight via Match.com. His spreadsheet kept a record of communication with the 12 women, progress, online appearance ratings and comments such as “great bod; also in finance; well traveled.”
After first dates he color coded the ones to “Monitor closely” clarifying that [bold= ASAP] such as ‘Arielle’ who he deemed, “Very pretty; sweet & down to earth/great personality; hope to see again soon” (aw). Then there were girls to “monitor casually” or not at all, such as Marisa who he deemed “okay girl but very jappy; one and done for me.” [Jap = Jewish American Princess].
Jezebel spoke to said ‘Jappy’ girl and she had this to say of their date:
“If I had to sum him up in one word, it would be ‘fidgety,’” said the woman he deemed “jappy,” who was shocked to hear he had distributed a spreadsheet. “He got up to readjust himself a few times in the middle of our conversation, which was bizarre. He kept taking his glasses off and then putting them on again.” She said it was funny he called her “jappy,” since he was able to correctly identify her designer bag. “He said his mom had it.”
Jezebel also spoke to the man of the hour to get his take on the ordeal:
“I work with spreadsheets a lot. It’s a great additional tool. I work long days, go to the gym, go out on a couple of midweek dates or what not, get home late…how am I going to remember them? I’m not. So I made the spreadsheets. My comments aren’t malicious or mean. This was an honest attempt to stay organized. I sent the spreadsheet to my date because she works with spreadsheets a lot too and she seemed like a very sweet girl. I won’t be using Match.com ever again. I screwed some people, and I screwed myself. It’s the worst day of my life”
SO! Now you’ve got the skinny on the story, I think it’s time we make some conclusions about it.
13 Conclusions to be drawn about the Spreadsheet Guy and this story.
1. There’s a social network/app that’s going to develop from this. (After a quick experimental browse– dating sites aren’t designed that well and it’s probably difficult to remember details about each person you had spoken or texted with).
2. This guy would be good at poly [polygamy].
3. He’d probably get the bills paid on time and be a whiz with meal planning!
4. Unless you’re keeping track of the ladies you murdered or something, spreadsheets are not that creepy. Everyone uses them. The general consensus of people commenting on the article was, Love spreadsheets & would definitely make one if I was dating multiple people at once. For anyone with a job or a computer, Excel is basically their life.
5. He’s a pretty strategic guy and probably does well in finance. We are talking here about a service that you PAY for so being strategic about it is only sensible. And let’s be real here, people who are active on dating sites like Match.com have already willingly reduced themselves to a catalog of variables to be mathematically paired by an algorithm.
6. Loving spreadsheets may be linked to autism. An anonymous commenter had this to say:
I’m autistic and know a fellow autist when I see one. Spreadsheets? Fidgety? Adjusting himself? Overly trusting (sent the damn thing because he said he would)? Highly systematic dating process? I know this is why people hate us and make fun of us, and I realize that we are irritating, but it’s the way we’re made. We find neurotypicals just as frustrating.
7. None of these girls on the list were “the one”. Passion starts with learning how to remember her name without a computer spreadsheet. And ends when you have to use color keys to indicate the subject should be ’monitored closely’. That’s 7th grade science class, not love.
8. The “jappy” girl sounds really fun. Why didn’t he go for her?
9. This is kind of like that episode of Friends …. where Ross is trying to decide whether or not to dump Julie for Rachel, and he makes that list on Chandler’s laptop computer. And Rachel finds it. Except this time the press found it.
10. His idea to send his spreadsheet to the girl takes a top spot in the history of “Stupid things men do to impress women.” But hey, we all make mistakes.
11. The girl who sent the spreadsheet to 40,000 of her friends is a total b****. Linda Tripp-like behavior is the lowest of the low.
12. There are a few bad jokes to be made from this story such as: “Looks like this guy won’t be spreading any sheets with anybody anytime soon”.
Although if he’s anything like Ross from Friends, we hope he finds a nice gal, real soon.
13. I’m kind of attracted to his level of organization right now.
Via Gawker media.